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[13 Aug 2004|04:44am] |
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ATTENTION!! ATTERNTION!! Its 4:44 am and i just made a new journal so this will most likely be my last post in this one. my new journal is Spinmeastory. come visit me!
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[10 Aug 2004|09:38pm] |
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Im coming home tomorrow, yay! i dont know why but im wicked homesick, i miss my family and friends...and i love how when i have something perfectly planned out it falls apart at the last minute..its fun.
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[05 Aug 2004|08:32pm] |
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im homesick and so i decided to call marya and now she is telling me about the guy at strawberries who was a jerk. now im too tired to write anything else...florida is good im kinda homesick. bought new pants so im happy.
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[29 Jul 2004|06:43pm] |
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oh and me and mar are making a documentary cause we rock!
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[29 Jul 2004|06:33pm] |
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mood |
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couldnt feel much worse |
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music |
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AFI- the leaving song-->how ironic |
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Its amazing how everything can go from really amazing to really horribly bad in a matter of like days.
so first off Alexia moved to california and didnt even tell me, i know we were kinda growing apart but im sure she could have informed me somehow, i guess we arent best friends anymore
now the worse thing...i just learned yesterday that my foster bro and sis are possibly going home on aug.18. we have had them for like two and a half years. they honestly are like one of the best things in my life. im gonna be at camp and if they are going home then im leaving half way through and driving home to see them before they leave. i guess the judge is really fair but the lawyer said he had lost stronger cases than this one. i was so sure that we were going to adopt them that this has completly torn me apart.
plus the fact that they went away this weekend with my mom to the cape and i leave on saterday to go to florida for a week and a half. then three days after i get home i go to camp. i just keep crying then i will get control then break down again.
then in like a month the other best thing in my life (Mar) is going to new york. i feel again like everyone is just leaving.
one good thing is that Im starting to become friends with cool people like Katie W. and Rachel P.
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[23 Jul 2004|11:50pm] |
I'm just trying to say the way school need teachers The way Kathie Lee needed Regis that's the way I need Jesus
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[23 Jul 2004|10:58pm] |
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music |
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marya singing ghetto rap |
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Tab is gross
p.s i just died part of my hair pink. Me and marya were planning on just trying to do it ourselves but her mom decided she had to step in and help us out. good thing too cause we would have screwed up so bad. i did the tips, and i was really nervous cause i havent done anything to my hair besided like trimming it since like 7th grade. marya's alter ego is now rogue, cause she died the front blond and its really gipo0g-a\j o-nghjnk,m, but back to me cause i like myself better, i have never died my hair any color except like the normal highlights, i really like it. pics coming soon of us being gangsta nation.
pps marya helped me write this entry which should help explain some of it.
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| CRAZY weekend! |
[20 Jul 2004|05:24pm] |
This weekend was absolutely insane....
first on friday i went to my great grandmothers funeral i didnt know her so it wasnt that sad, but i had a good time with my brothers. we are all crazy. then friday night i went over her house and her and her mom told me how i have social anxiety disorder cause i cant eat in public. then me and marya went to starbucks and i raided her cd's
then Saturday i left at 12:30 and me and marya tried to go to keegans house, we got soo lost, we stopped at an apothecary to get directions it was crazy. then we discovered his house is behind another house, it was cool me and mar hate Wellesley. then we hung out at his house while he tried on like a million and one outfits. he also attacked marya with a vibrator and we talked about how me and mar are so virginal its crazy, we freaked keegan out cause we dont masturbate, it was so funny. then we headed to the converge show it was crazy to get to and took us forever, i of course got a crazy headache.
the show was really cool we cut in line to get in and we wouldnt have gotten in otherwise cause it sold out right after us. i got punched in the head by some jerk. then some kids at the end of the show decided to be idiots and start beating up some little kids, then there was a fight and a bunch of people left. i felt so bad after the show keegan got a migrane and started puking it was gross. then the night just kinda went downhill we missed the train by like 2 seconds literally then keegan spit on it as it was going by. we waited for a while for the next one then we had to take that to a bus cause the t was down. it was no fun then we drove keegans nice little friends home, and we got kinda lost not really again. long story shorter it took like 3 hours to go the distance it should have taken only like and 1 hour to go.
Then sunday i went to a cookout dealy at my cousins house so i could hang out with all my family who came for the funeral. steve picked me up and jumped into the pool with me in my clothes. then we just hung out.
Then yesterday i worked and got my new cd player. I love Alec!!! he fixed my car so the stereo is good now! and he might put struts in my car for super cheap. then i went and made marya come to best buy with me. first though we made a stop at Borders where i made a complete fool of myself and of course it was in front of hot guys, always. we had such a fun time cause both of us were incredibly tired, we were just ridiculous. then on the way home we decided we were soulmates, and that didnt have to necessarily mean romantically. but i am putting in my memories for my yearbook next year that im a lesbian and marya has been my "partner" for 3 years, even though none of that is true its cool. then i got home and discovered the cds i thought i got a great deal on were just cd cases i felt like an idiot my dad got a kick out of that...i blame marya.
that was my wonderful weekend!
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[15 Jul 2004|06:33pm] |
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Dear diary....today i stepped on a jellybean and marya ate it...for those who dont know that your not cool enough.
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[09 Jul 2004|04:50pm] |
The other day someone told me i was just like my dad and i realized how proud that made me. i was thinking about it today and how i take my family for granted. i also randomly thought of 9/11 and how i didnt even tell my parents i loved them or anything like that..im really self centered...i cant seem to care about any thing other than myself lately which makes me even more depressed.
anyway i realized how much i care about my dad, he's really cool all my friends seem to think he's funny and works harder than anyone else i know, and he's really smart. i dont think im like him at all, he does stuff for people all the time and doesnt even ask questions or wonder if he'll get recognition. i used to think he wasnt that smart cause he didnt go to college and he works at a machine shop. but now i see everyday that at his work he is irreplaceable, and i think about all the diffrent jobs he's had i realize really how smart he is not necessarily in a book way, (although he does know a whole lot of useless facts from like discovery, history, and cnn channels) but he is so smart in a real life sort of way.
well i dont know if any of that makes sense to any one i just wanted to say im proud of my family and i love them yes all like 50 of them.
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[07 Jul 2004|04:02pm] |
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ERICS HERE. that makes me so friggin happy, nobody even knows. nothing else thats happened is interesting,marya came over last night and saw the extent of my crazy family. then we watched fight club it was cool except andy asked like a million questions! best quote ever..."a little less questions, a little more shut the hell up"...it was so appropraite last night it was amazing. iv been working so much its crazy i dont even feel like its summer. but today i got to go to Wellesly(sp?) to the some bank for my boss. it is like 30 min from where i work and my boss gave me $40 to take me and rj to lunch, i didnt have to punch out and i got to leave work for like 2.5 hours. i was very happy! yes wellesly is a very rich town. now im going to watch the Butterfly Effect cause its like the best movie ever!
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[03 Jul 2004|01:24pm] |
yeah so i havent really updated in a while. nothing really happened this week until Thursday i got my first check it was cool. then Friday i went and saw Spiderman 2, it was awesome!! then i went and picked Keegan up at alewife i drove way to fast and got there in like 25 min when it should take like 45 but hey. Mar and i decided to show keegan maynard. so we brought him to our houses and then we went downtown: -no where sells slices of pizza at night -we saw jordan -china ruby sucks -i had to convince keegan to let me pay -keegan freaking out the waitress -"im really crazy and im escasty" -"i ate it with my mouth" -putting hair in food so you dont have to pay for it is a good idea -"you should get that checked out its really ungood" -"both your brothers are really good looking" -hanging out in maryas basement, sitting on the pooltable while all maryas brothers friends got drunk and played ahole -"boob boob boob boob", "dude thats not a swear" "oh" -talking about my ocd on the way to alewife, like how i count all the time in my head It was a really good time
then yesterday i went to see spiderman 2 again with mar and her bro. then we went to olive garden, then went to borders where i got AP and it had FOB on the cover yay! then we came home and i was gonna go watch robin hood men in tights but it was too late and my mom wouldnt let me boo. today im going to gloucester(sp?) to a party on the beach, with my family.
Overall cool weekend!
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[28 Jun 2004|08:14pm] |
98% of the teenage population does or has tried smoking pot. If you're one of the 2% who hasn't, copy & paste this into your journal.
I think that if you have to drink or do drugs to have fun your just boring...i have plenty of fun without them, and i know other people who do too.
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[25 Jun 2004|07:37pm] |
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mood |
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exhausted, a new trend |
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music |
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coheed and cambria |
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Quick update of my week: -bought car -got in fight with mom -started work, basically cleaning toilets -woken up anywhere between 5:15 and 6:15 work till 2,3 or 4 -got car -saw Dodgeball a second time, and its still amazing -in the parking lot of the movie theater at 10 at night discovered i had a dead battery that couldnt even be jumped -got new battery -owe mom and dad my life along with all the money i earn for like the rest of my life! - plus of working with RJ is its never boring, and he can make me laugh.
-hopefully tomorrow me mar and maybe keegan are hanging should be a good time to perk up my mundane life...
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| I love being the mom in my family |
[20 Jun 2004|07:37pm] |
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mood |
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tired beyond belief |
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music |
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The Front Runner |
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so yeah, damion had surgery on friday...he did really good and has to stay till tomorrow but its all good cause they want to make sure he is ok.
brightside: he's gonna be alot better and hopefully be more like a normal 2 year old.
downside: mom has to stay in the hospital till monday which means that i have to take her place. i clean, cook, watch tayler who has basically had me up since like 3 am. i know i just have to find a way to deal but its so hard!
i did get a little break today and went and saw DodgeBall, it was absolutly amazing, and i think its my new favorite movie. one of the best lines, "your adopted and your parents dont even love you." i basically laughed the whole time. then on the way home i got to see my new car for the first time!
its fathers day i havent really even seen my dad, but its cool when theres 5 kids you kinda get used to it.
i start work tomorrow and have to leave my house at 6:30 am im really nervous, and i really want to get out by 3 so i can go to boston...pray i will everyone!
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[15 Jun 2004|04:19pm] |
SO yeah the fall out boy show was amazing...possibly one of the best times of my life. i love shows cause you can go and forget who you are and all the cares in your life and just be crazy. Me and Mar made friends! it was cool. the show was amazing although my face hurts really bad now from getting cracked by some guy in a mosh pit. it was interesting going in the next day and having people be like what happened and i was like i got hit, they were like with what..an arm yeah it was cool. and i have bruises all over my arms. funny that it was still one of the best times ever. whatever. times since then haven't been so hot but hey!
p.s mar the hair is awsome!!!!!!!!
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[08 Jun 2004|02:25pm] |
I have come to the conclusion that i really suck at keeping friends and that i really dont care when i lose most of them. i make excuses for why im better off without them but I think eventually im going to run out and i think that eventually is coming soon. i dont know whats wrong me, why when i make friends i sabatoge it, although i know some is my fault i dont think all of it is. so what i dont like the phone, im sorry if thats a crime.
"you want apologies girl, you might hold your breath until your breathing stops forever, forever the only thing you'll get is this curse on your lips: i hope they taste of me forever"
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[04 Jun 2004|04:32pm] |
Wow i watched elephant last night, so good. it was really wierd and kinda scary. it was really fun to go to school today and think that i could be going through my day and some crazy kids could come in and kill me! fun! i love the kid john though he was really cute and did the "signiture emo kid move" with his hair. also the psycho killer kid,eric, was cute he looked this kid i kinda know. i recomend the movie it was really reaslistic, and good.
school really sucks right now cause all my friends are gone, and my mom told me had no friends that made me feel good. she said and i quote, "maybe you should make some friends to drive around" she has this incredible way of making me feel amazing.
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[01 Jun 2004|06:08pm] |
life went from really great to really sucky in a matter of like a day. i told my mom some stuff and she just blew it off yet again, i dont really care anymore she's going through her own stuff, i just think its pointless to talk to her anymore.
today is marya's bday, yeah 18, boo we arent the same age anymore. but yeah im going to the movies in like a few minutes which means that yes im going to see jake Gyllenhaal. get undressed! that will make my life better!
steve has been nice to me lately so that is cool.
i thought that once summer came i would be happy again but it doesnt seem that way, summer only brings all my friends graduating and leaving me, and more loneliness.
i need to think about happy stuff or im gonna cry...like sunday (my bday-oh yeah thanks all you douche bags who said you were coming to my bday party and then didnt, or said you would call and then didnt) me and mar went Plaistow (porco puesto (sp?)) and we saw some bands that was fun cause i wore my awesome shirt, and i got a mj pin yeah! then we rocked out in her car
monday i went bike riding and then to marya's party it was fun and i laughed like the whole time. marya got cooler presents than me but hey!
I HATE YOUR SKIRT!!!!!!!! Abercrombie is not cool and its not an excuse to make a gay things (coughponchoscough) cool, sorry.
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